TTM Short for Trichotillomania (Your year to stop pulling)

I pulled my hair out...............

I pulled for over thirty years and couldn't find a solution.

In 2007 I found that solution after years of being controlled by Trichotillomania.

Before I go into detail about my journey I will tell you that you can learn more about me if you choose. My website is www.trichblog.com

You can leave me a detailed message there if you choose and I will get back with you.

I am writing about Trichotillomania because I want to reach others who suffer and try to help them.

On my blog you will see some have had success since corresponding with me. That I am so proud of. I am so happy for them, but I need to do more and that is the reason for this article.

Anyway let’s get back to Trich and learning the ways I became healed.

I pulled only from the top of my head, I never pulled my eyelashes or anywhere else. My eyelashes did fall out and I have had to wear a few of the false ones until they grew back in. But it wasn't from pulling them out, it was from having Graves Disease, a thyroid condition, which made them weak. So I know what it was like not having eyelashes too, along with the bald patches I so hated on the top of my head and sides of the head.

But as for how I healed myself, well I did try meds, etc, nothing worked for me. Nothing until I got fed up completely.

I got so mad with not having the hair I wanted so badly.

I began looking through magazines and I picked out a long pretty layered style and I kept that picture for years in my purse. When I finally threw it away it was old and very tattered.

I wish I had saved it, but after I did get my hair back completely I threw the picture away.

But what I am getting at is that picture was one of my driving forces. Just one. God was my biggest driving force...

I prayed to God to help me find a way out from Trich. I truly believe he knew I was ready. Why, because in the past I had prayed and nothing happened. I still pulled. But this time I felt different. I could feel a change. I knew this time I would have success.

Let’s talk about how I feel different and how I got there.

Well it took a while.

I would get up in the morning and as soon as I finished brushing my teeth I would look into the mirror and visualize how I would look and feel, the feeling part is most crucial. I would feel fantastic. I would see myself with full hair before it actually happened.

I began talking myself through the process. I gave myself reassuring thoughts, nothing negative passed my lips, only positive thoughts, good thoughts. I had little sayings I repeated, and it can be anything you feel that is an uplifting feeling or thought for you.

Mine changed each time depending on what I wanted to say.

But to give you and idea/example, I would say Wanda you are strong, you can overcome this disorder, this disorder doesn’t control you, you control it. I would repeat it over and over, until I truly believed it in my mind.

I would say, I can have long beautiful healthy hair, and then I would say and you will very soon.

Get in front of the mirror and repeat it. Meditate and breath deep within. Learn to relax and let go. The mind is a truly amazing instrument, use it for the good only.

This time I was armed and ready to heal, to find my inner peace I had been lacking for such a long time.

So first and foremost you have to get your mindset where it needs to be to heal properly, again this is what worked for me. I pray it will work for you too.

Here are some suggestions, these are only suggestions, ones that worked for me.

If you pull from your scalp, wash your hair often.
Wetting the head disassociates the urge to pull.
Maybe this will work for eyelashes too, I don't know you can at least try it.

Really important things that helped were when I had an urge I would get up and write down how I was feeling at that moment. Guess what, I was usually feeling sad, lonely, or thinking a negative thought. So I began thinking about why I felt that way. Why was I letting a negative thought come into my mind and ruin my day and cause me to do something to myself that only made me feel worse. Because Trich relieves the stress you are feeling or at least cushions it some while you are in the act of pulling , and then to later only drop you further into a deeper sadness. Again this is how it made me feel.

So by listening to myself, by tuning in to what might have just happened minutes before I felt this sudden urge to pull out my own hair. I began stopping and thinking what was going through my mind and why.

Once I began figuring out my thought process and determining what I thought about each time, I began to see a pattern.

I was either just plain old bored, plopping down in front of the TV and automatically my hand went to my head.

What did this mean, well for me it was a pity party and I would pull.
So I decided to fix it.

When I was bored, I didn't pull anymore, common sense told me to get up and do something. I did just that, I began running on my treadmill. By doing this it brought up the good endorphins in my brain and I began to feel healthier and happier.

Next when I would sit down at night and didn't feel bored, I got quiet and listened to my thoughts. What was I thinking that was so bad that made me feel I wanted to pull my hair out. My own hair....

Well I would get a tingle and I thought the only thing to do was to pull. WRONG!!!!

What was I thinking, well sometimes I would think about a talk that maybe I had with someone earlier that day that I didn't agree with and I would stew over it. I would let it roll over my brain again and again, in a negative way... Not a positive way and low and behold I had a reason to pull. How stupid was I by letting that opinion come into my brain in a negative way.
I stopped doing that and that's when I began controlling the why's of my pulling.

It takes a little while and it takes practice to change your mindset, it isn't an overnight fix. But it is obtainable and well worth your time and effort. At least it was for me and I am so glad I took the time to heal.

While I was in the process of retraining my thoughts, and was still working on a full success, this next tip helped me to slowly narrow down my pulling.

I allotted how many hairs I would actually allow myself to pull, and when I got to that allotment, I stopped. This takes practice too, but it helps you understand you can control Trich and it doesn't continue to control you. And as you get stronger, eventually with the right mindset training you are working on and the deciding of how many hairs you allow yourself to pull. Soon you will feel in total control and you won’t feel the need to pull any longer. You will feel different, and when that time comes you will know you are now being healed.
And that my friends feels wonderful....

I want you all to know that I began my process of healing in the first month of 2007, but in May 2007 I lost my Dad in a freak accident. He overturned his scooter that he rode into town each day to visit with the towns people and to sell his pride and joy bird houses that he made with the help of his grandsons and sons.

His scooter turned over and he fell off after trying to climb a side street that was too steep for his scooter to make it up. He ended up hitting his head on the pavement and we were told his birdhouses went flying with him.

He was 85 and so full of life.

But to get to the point, my Dad didn't make it.

He ended up having a large bleed in the brain. It took him from us, we lost a man that was so full of life so loving and so sweet. I to this day feel that if this accident hadn’t happened he would have lived to be 100 or more.

I worshiped my Dad, he was my big teddy bear. But when I lost him my world came crumbling down.

I had spent the last five months healing and becoming strong. But when he died, my old reliable Trich was right there to pick me up. I caved in and let it have its way. Yes, I became weak once more and I pulled.

But thank goodness the things I learned about myself in the months before his death and with God's love now sweeping me up, I stopped just as quickly as I had begun. I did very little damage and it was because I was stronger, had I not been, well we all know what would have happened.. All that success I had in those five months would have been lost forever.

But it wasn’t.

Life without TTM is so different, and I feel so blessed to be rid of this horrible disorder.

My desire and dream is to be an inspiration and mentor to others who still suffer with this monster of a disorder.

So if you are reading this and you too suffer with TTM, know that you can be healed and you can stop.

Best Wanda